Recuerdos

¿Como olvidar, sin olvidarte?
Sin q mi corazón te extrañe.
Enseñarle a conformarse,
con el recuerdo del amarte.

jO

Toughts

Once again lost and confused. Searching for any ray of hope.

Wondering when will my time come.

--jO

Sabrás que no te amo y que te amo

Sabrás que no te amo y que te amo
puesto que de dos modos es la vida,
la palabra es un ala del silencio,
el fuego tiene una mitad de frío.

Yo te amo para comenzar a amarte,
para recomenzar el infinito
y para no dejar de amarte nunca:
por eso no te amo todavía.

Te amo y no te amo como si tuviera
en mis manos las llaves de la dicha
y un incierto destino desdichado.

Mi amor tiene dos vidas para armarte.
Por eso te amo cuando no te amo
y por eso te amo cuando te amo.

Pablo Neruda, 1959

After all, Love is not enough

You know, ever since my divorce, I have always wondered why Love is not enough. I kept thinking to myself, that maybe I didn't loved her enough. Maybe I didn't do everything I could. Maybe I just didn't tried hard enough. Today I find myself thinking that Love is not enough.

It's been 4 years, 2 months and 13 days since I came to P.R., add about an extra year to that from the time my life went to hell.

Since then I have tried so hard to please everyone but myself. I keep telling me not to fall in Love and yet, I keep making the same mistakes. Is it fate? Am I destined to be alone?

Why is it that if I fall in Love... no scratch that, I fall in deep deep love, the kind of love that you would die for. The kind of love that makes you do whatever it takes to make that person happy, to please and forget about your own desires and aspirations. Then why is it, and I have gone down this path for the third time, that is never good enough?

This time I have no one to blame but myself. Everything happened so quickly. Maybe I was so lonely, that I was lying to myself telling there was something more here. Maybe... Who Knows, all I know is that I was blinded by hope.

I am so tired. Tired of trying, tired of living, tired of searching...

I am so tired of wanting my old lifestyle back.

I am just tired of waiting to be loved.

jesusOmar

Sticky Note

Note To Self...

Sólo con una ardiente paciencia conquistaremos la espléndida ciudad que dará luz, justicia y dignidad a todos los hombres. Así la poesía no habrá cantado en vano.

Pablo Neruda