Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

After all, Love is not enough

You know, ever since my divorce, I have always wondered why Love is not enough. I kept thinking to myself, that maybe I didn't loved her enough. Maybe I didn't do everything I could. Maybe I just didn't tried hard enough. Today I find myself thinking that Love is not enough.


It's been 4 years, 2 months and 13 days since I came to P.R., add about an extra year to that from the time my life went to hell.

Since then I have tried so hard to please everyone but myself. I keep telling me not to fall in Love and yet, I keep making the same mistakes. Is it fate? Am I destined to be alone?

Why is it that if I fall in Love... no scratch that, I fall in deep deep love, the kind of love that you would die for. The kind of love that makes you do whatever it takes to make that person happy, to please and forget about your own desires and aspirations. Then why is it, and I have gone down this path for the third time, that is never good enough?

This time I have no one to blame but myself. Everything happened so quickly. Maybe I was so lonely, that I was lying to myself telling there was something more here. Maybe... Who Knows, all I know is that I was blinded by hope.

I am so tired. Tired of trying, tired of living, tired of searching...

I am so tired of wanting my old lifestyle back.

I am just tired of waiting to be loved.

jesusOmar

Inner fight

This world is beyond fucked up. No one is ever truly happy. Those who have a great girl want out, and those that are out just want a great girl. And when by some random miracle a great girl finds someone that truly wants her, somehow the world manages to fuck up their existence.

Are we doomed to suffer in this world? Are we suppose to put up with all this shit, and hope that there is life after death? What if there isn't? What if this is it? Then what? We waste so many hours trying to do the right thing, well, some of us at least, and afterwards we feel like shit because the right thing is not what we want.

We sit idly hopping that the universe will align correctly and send everything your way, and when by some random chance you actually find something worth fighting for, we are to afraid to stand up and do everything humanly possible to get it, to love it, to cherish it, to fight for it...