WTF is Love?

Last night I danced.... I danced like I have never danced before. I was actually enjoying what I was doing. We danced 2 or 3 Merengues, and when we where finished I wanted to dance more.

After I was done, I came home and my Roommate (God Bless Her) noticed the happiness in my face. She realize that for once I was truly happy. That for once in my lifetime I was actually glad of how the night turn out. She decided to teach me. She decided that since I loved dancing with this particular person so much, and since this person loves to dance so much, that I needed to learn more. So after I passed the fuck out in the living room, (Damn drunk people) She woke my ass up and decided to teach me some Salsa moves. We spend about 3 to 4 hours dancing. She taught me that I had to enjoy the music. I had to actually like what I was doing otherwise I was not going to look good wile dancing.

Funny thing about all of this is that I don't like dancing. I hate dancing as a matter of fact. I think is just a bullshit excuse for a guy to dry hump a girl. But I like this one girl so much that I am willing to change my ways just for her. I am willing to learn how to dance, I am willing to learn how to enjoy dancing.

Last night we had the most amazing connection. We danced a few songs (before I got my Salsa lessons of course) And afterwards we almost kissed. Our lips where closed to each other as never before. I have not felt this way for a woman in years. I have not felt this way for a very long long.... LONG time. She seems to be amazing. She seems to be everything I have ever wanted in a woman. She knows me for who I am. She knows how I can get real grumpy at times. She understand my jokes. How when I am really pissed off I don't really talk.

We have had our ups and downs already. Even tho we have not even kissed.... well at least not properly. But I believe deep in my heart, that this could go deep...... so deep, that I might be in trouble. I have this terrible feeling in my heart that she is going to destroy me. Destroy me like I was destroyed before.

Only time will tell. God only knows if she is the one to make me happy. As always things are not as easy as I would like them to be. I really hoped that she actually belives me when I say that I want her. Not in any sexual way.... but that I want to be part of her live. Part of her family and her future. Part of what a loved one should be. Part of her in more than one way.

I think I am falling in LOVE. And I think this time is for real. This time is going to be deeper, more complicated than before.

I really hope that she can read this. Since when I type my toughs out is when I really express what I feel. This is the only way I can comunicate to her how much LOVE I feel for her. And I hate myself for never been able to find the right words to say to her....

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